F@*% him, what is that? Stepping on MY territory! I found [him] irritating because he’s like the coolest guy on Earth, and the greatest rock musician, and writer, and performer you’ve ever seen – and ALSO funny? He could do what we do just in his sleep – as an afterthought.

He’s just now realizing that Mr. White’s tantamount to a demigod when it comes to the arts? Way to be behind the times, Judd.

Looks like star John C. Reilly feels the same way:

He was in “Cold Mountain,” he had a small part in that. But he really hung with the improv. We did this one take where all we did was talk in kind of what I call pigeon English. All this kinda country talk where only he and I can understand each other.

Reilly also talked about the casting process and how Jack, despite his vast reserves of what scientists call “brilliance,” wasn’t their first choice:

It was the toughest part to cast. You’d be amazed what scaredy cats there are among actors. You say, “You wanna play Elvis?” “Oh, I dunno, man, you know, that’s a lot, everyone knows who Elvis is.” So what? It turns out the guy with the biggest balls is Jack White.

I simply can’t wait for this film. Apatow + Jack White has to equal a winner!

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Scot songstress KT Tunstall met everyone’s favorite rock god backstage at a recent festival in Japan. Here’s what she had to say:

He’s like Led Zeppelin in one man. It was a magical moment… the Raconteurs’ dressing room was opposite ours, so I got a bit of paper and wrote, “Did I ever tell you you’re my hero? I’m totally in love with you.” I went to put it in his room, but it was full of the trendiest people who looked like they hadn’t eaten since they were children. I thought, “I can’t put the note in there, they’ll ridicule me.” Then I turned around and there was this giant belt buckle in my face, and there was Jack.

Well, Ms. Tunstall got much farther than I would’ve. I’d have fainted at the buckle!

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If that’s so, there was a smashing family reunion last week in Nashville, where White joined the folk legend onstage September 19 at the Ryman Auditorium for a little “Meet Me in the Morning.” The next night saw duets on “One More Cup of Coffee” and “Outlaw Blues.”

Look below for hastily and stealthily shot footage of one of the duets!

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It’s official, ladies and gentlemen. The world is on a Tokyo commuter train blazing toward the End of Times.

Let me just start by saying that all of the following is speculation and rumor. There isn’t a shred of truth to be had here today, if at all.

As we all know, the Stripes recently canceled the remaining dates on their 2007 tour (both U.S. and across the pond), citing Meg’s “acute anxiety,” which is certainly a legitimate reason for taking a break, what with the pressures of a national performance schedule and all.

But many of us are wondering whether Meg’s anxiety was a natural occurrence or the result of some earth-shattering event.

Enter the rabid ravings of the Internet. A certain sex tape has surfaced – no, I will not directly link to it, you heathens – that supposedly stars…well…the Stripe in question.

I don’t believe a bit of it and you shouldn’t either. As Idolator astutely mentions, the image is incredibly blurry, the setting seems to be a college dorm room, and Meg’s publicist made it clear that it is absolutely a “prank” with a “twisted sense of humor” and “bad taste.”

Normally, I wouldn’t pander to such crude and vapid hoopla, but I felt it necessary this time. I had a duty to you Yorbites, a duty to inform you about this utter nonsense and then dispel you of any fanciful conjecture.

Madness, I say! A canceled tour, a pseudo-sex-tape. What’s next? I suppose Jack’s really a three-toed sloth!?

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Hope there’s an interview. I do wonder what that would be like…

Dylan: So, Jack, get born keep warm short pants romance learn to dance get dressed get blessed try to be a success?

White: Pardon?

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London radio station XFM 104.9 will be airing an hour-long documentary about the Stripes’ Elephant on Sunday, September 23.

The station is producing 10 documentaries about 10 significant and influential albums of the last decade – yes, that’s 10 again – to celebrate a certain number of years in London broadcasting. Guess how many.

Decaphilia aside, XFM is certainly in the right to dub Elephant a significant and influential album. After all, two Grammys, #390 on Rolling Stone’s “500 Greatest Albums of All Time,” and NME Album of the Year for 2003 don’t lie.

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The Raconteurs – Jack White’s “other band” – drug-fueled?

That’s the joke at the supergroup’s MySpace page, where they claim that their Nashville recording sessions for a new album have been fueled by “acidophilus powder and flax seed smoke.”

A typed-up conversation between Jack and bandmate Brendan Benson provides that bit of humor and a few others, such as Jack and Brendan trying to explain the new songs’ general excellence:

Jack: But as we were saying, the new songs are coming together strong. I hate to even attempt to describe them…

Brendan: It would be like dancing about architecture.

Reminds me of a classic quotation from the immortal Hunter S. Thompson: I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.

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From the folder marked “Whuzzat?” comes an announcement about the UK single for “You Don’t Know What Love Is (You Just Do What You’re Told).”

The B-side of that particular single will be…wait for it…a frat rock version.

What does that even mean? Complimentary toga with purchase? Or will everyone, upon listening to it, want to strip stark naked and start the revolution?

Keep your fingers crossed, Yorbites (British and American alike). On second thought, all nationalities of Stripes-lovers should be en garde! Who knows what this may bring.

I shudder to think about it. Is the disco version of “Hotel Yorba” not far behind?

We’ll find out September 10, when the single makes its consumer debut.

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Cigars and champagne all ’round, Yorbites! There’s a new White in town!

Reports have come in that Mrs. Jack White herself, Karen Elson, gave birth to a healthy baby boy on Tuesday by the name of Henry Lee. This makes two children now for the couple, the other fifteen-month-old Scarlett Teresa.

Good to know those rockin’ genes will carry on properly. Welcome and godspeed, young Henry!

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According to the results of a poll entitled “The 20 Best Live Bands Playing Right Now” at Rolling Stone’s Rock & Roll Daily, the Stripes are the #1 band to see in person this year, topping such mammoth acts as Radiohead, U2, the Red Hot Chili Peppers and even the newly-reformed Rage Against The Machine!

A poll wasn’t required, Stone. Based on available YouTube footage alone, the answer is obvious to everyone, not just us Yorbites!

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